Chocolate Starfish

Hello boils and ghouls,

I would like to tell you what I saw on the beach yesterday with my friend Amy Lou.

Giant fucking starfish. No the starfish were not fucking, but they were huge and hanging about on rocks and underwater. I think some of them just came up to die. Really weird if you ask me. It is also the season of crab babies, so I made sure to pick some up and hold them in my hands. You don't realize what kind of a life you have until you're standing in the middle of a dead starfish beach holding a live and pinching baby crab in your hands.

I have a nice life. I am not among the dead, or dying. I am still alive and full of pinches.
My shell is hard and brightly painted with warriors faces to frighten my enemies.

These things you must attend to in order to survive the shoddy barns and barren fields of solace.

Bring yourself in some sun. Find that golden coin. Join up with the ones you love and do it naked all the time.

Be yourself, not a corpse!

Post Segundo

So I went to this totally bitchin' garage sale today. What was so bitchin' you ask?

It was free. Yep, free.

I picked up some collectors plates with songbirds on them. And a book about working out your abs. (Obviously not for me.)

A sewing kit full of black thread and foreign patches.

The kid ended up with a guitar with only one string and the mousetrap game her mother yearned for and never got.

I have to go pick up Horseface in an hour, luckily enough he doesn't have to go to work early tomorrow, so I can stay up and party on God's day of rest. I've always thought that was funny, you go wild on Saturday night. Some of the most evil and regrettable things a person does happen on a Saturday night. (Saturday night's all right for fighting, anyone?)

But when Sunday morning comes people act all pious. Like 'I'm a good Jesus Lover, forget that part last night where I pulled off my clothes and let random men shoot gin out of my pussy.'




---
(Can I say that?)

Post Primero

So blogs...

This is my first blog, really an experiment this whole thing. I'm going to try to see how much money I can make with a simple blog, so for those of you who actually know me, if I'm writing about really weird stuff (Kittens and Kleenex) don't worry. It's probably about the money.

I plan on making a couple of postings a day, so some really random shit is bound to happen. Keep checking in to see what kind of crazy happenings happen on.